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User blog:CITRONtanker/A Guide to all Species: By Galaximus
'''Galaximus: '''Greetings, mortals. It's me, your best friend! Aside from being a villanous goddess, and the future empress of the universe, I am also an avid studyer of the species that call this Earth home- some are more worthless than others. Recently, I captured some specimens of these species and ran extensive tests on them- some lived to tell the tale, and others- well you know (hey, I'm within my rights! Humans conduct experiments on Inklings, so what goes around comes around!) Now, with my highly scientific findings, I ready to share my thoughts with you on the livings things that walk among us. Read it and weap! Humans Notable Humans: Jelo, Mario, Lincoln Loud (and his sisters), The Powerpuff Girls, Mr. Red, etc, etc, etc. I hate humans. Do you wanna know why? It's because they are an inferior species! For one, they apparently are related to, and perhaps even evolved from, monkeys! Seriously?!?! And they also always seem to defeat me- I'm always ashamed by it. They say I'm a giant monster, and alien bent on destroying them. But hey, if they call you names, they have to ''expect ''getting their towns stomped on. But the main reason consider these sad beings inferior is that they are mere downgrades of Inklings! We Inklings can do everything a human can and more! I can turn into a squid, and use ink weapons! And don't even get me started on my own powers, powers a human could never possess. And I can't even use them as my slaves! They are unreliable, never listen to me, and have nothing in the ways of resources for me to harness. Bah! Moving on. Inklings Notable Inklings: Yours truly, The Devil Jenny, Nebula, Edgellie, Toxen, etc. Ah yes- my own kind. Inklings rock. We are kids, and also squids. We are very fashion concious. We can swim up walls and stuff. How cool is that? We can do anything a human can do, but even better! And one day, Inklings will indeed thrive on the Earth, as the dominant species! And who will rule them? That would be me, of course. Peas Notables Peas: Green Shadow I- I hate peas. What good are they? I mean, as food, sure, they are pretty tasty- but....... WHY?! They are hill-stealing dirtbags, I don't understand how they became sentient, and they are just- puny! Ponies Notable Ponies- Red Fork, Ink Splash, Blue Ocean, etc. No matter where you go, you cannot escape these things. Maybe that's because they have magic, and can thrive easily, but they are crawling everywhere you look. I guess I could sap them of their energy and become even more powerful than I already am, but man- you mess with the horns of those things, and you get hurt- A LOT. Gemstones Notbale Gemstones- Red Ruby, Sean Sapphire, Gary Garnet, Diana Diamond, etc. First talking peas, and now this? I don't get it! This species seems pretty diverse- each specimen I have seen has different personalities and fighting styles. Some even do witchcraft (that's my gig!) Also, these things look- familiar. I swear I have seen similar gems on this game on my Squidphone. Octarians Notable Octarians- DJ Octavio, Squidkiller, Beta, Sherry (?) Had I not picked up these guys, they would be the saddest villains alive- I don' think their whole Zapfish stealing act will ever work. So, I'm helping them become better villains, and now, I own a veritable army of them. They are diverse too- I like Octolings, because they represent everything that is perfect about Inklings. The rest are so-so. Octotroopers run away too much.... Skeleton Goonies ''*sigh* ''These bonebrains.... These guys are another kind of my minions. Alas, they are about as stupid as they come- I suppose since birds and skeletons are not too bright, the two combined makes for a scatterbrained winged being. At least they are mindless enough to only follow my orders. And they look kinda spooky. I doubt the Gang finds them scary, but I like to pretend they are. Zombies Notable Zombie: Dr. Zomboss Rather than go on a tyraid as to why I DESPISE Edgar, I'm going to talk about his minions. And I thought Skeleton Goonies were stupid... I can't help but notice that Zombies really want brains, and my theory is this- by consuming brains, they might very well become more intelligent. Welp, they must need em'! They will walk into fire, get easily distracted, and don't realize that their leader HAS A BRAIN IN HIS HEAD! Just- ick. Other Possible Findings These might fall into a category, or might be their own species. Needless to say, I could not care less about them. Dimentio, Paper, Paper Inkling, any paper beings Is Paper really a human? Is Paper Inkling a human? What even ''is ''Dimentio? Cause I'm kinda confused as to what these things are. I will say that these scraps should not, under any circumstance, be able to live and cope in a 3D environment like ours. I don't know why the Roleplayers screw our world up, but they do. Speaking of which.... Those Roleplayers.... What are they? Really, what are they? And why are they stronger than me? How can they control seemingly all that happens, and all that unhappens?! I hate them! Moving on.... Star Butterfly Mewmans? I- I- Lets just- leave it at that. I'll let you interpert it. Kirby To me, Kirby and his other look-alikes looks like gumballs. Not to mention their abilities creep me out. Strange, freakish residents of Dream Land. You got a tree with a face, a cycloptic cloud, a foolish penguin (?) that deems himself a king, and a masked Kirby, among other things. If I were to write about them all, it would take years. Mermaids I only found one, which is Cala Maria, and now that they exist, should I believe in fairies too? Plants Talking plants- talking moss. Odd...... What fertilizer are they on? Dragons Oh, so now purple dragons are real? I'm living in a dream.... Conclusion So, there you have it. I (think) that is all the species I know of to share this planet with me. But deep down, even with their differences, all beings, all organisms, share one thing in common, that deep down, brings them together. But what is that thing, you ask. Why, it's the fact that- NONE OF THEM ARE BETTER THAN ME! MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you for reading this guide. And make sure you share it with others so everyone will know that Inklings will rule the world. To whoever is reading this- stomp ya' later! Ha! About the Author Galaximus (AKA Sheila) is a maniacal supervillain who seeks to destroy the Locked Room Gang and rule the universe. She has engaged in many plots, from posing as a genie, to laying waste to Echo Creek, to flat-out just trying to bring doomsday to Earth. When she is not plotting to rule the galaxy or fighting her most hated enemies, this gigantic Inkling can often be found in her lair, making her minions cater to her, rapping with her good buddy Squidkiller, or arguing with Inkopolis residents about their strict Turf War rules (so what if she's too big?) Category:Blog posts